One thing the casual lower league football fan will know about Posh’s recent history is the club’s proficiency for signing top quality strikers. There have been a few stinkers as well. In a format shamelessly stolen from rising journalist @TomVictor on twitter, I’ve ranked every single one of the 46 signings since Darragh MacAnthony took control over eleven years ago. I’m talking about genuine strikers, not number tens, wingers or makeshift centre forwards – so no George Boyd, Danny Lloyd, Shaun Batt, or in Dave Robertson’s case, Ricardo Santos in this list. And it’s not purely based on ability. I’ve considered cost, profit, longevity and of course, their goal scoring record.

 

  1. Ricky Miller (Dover Athletic, 2017)

 

Finishing bottom of this list is an impressive achievement, especially as Miller had more minutes on the pitch than most of the next 15 players. His signing was seen as a homecoming, as the Arsenal supporting Hertfordshire born striker played for several local sides in his prolific non-league days. To say this transfer was a flop is an understatement. The first 6 matches of the season were missed due to a ban for biting a grown man, and a record of 0 goals, 2 yellow cards for diving and 1 arrest leaves him at number 45. He puts the Rick in prick.

 

  1. Shaq McDonald (Alsager, 2012)

 

Promising young striker, until he [REDACTED ON ADVICE OF MY LAWYERS]

 

  1. Jonson Clarke-Harris (Coventry City, 2012)

 

Was considered one to watch, but  his time never came here. Later carved out a decent career at Rotherham.

 

  1. Kwesi Appiah (Ebbsfleet United, 2008)

 

Another player who never got near the first team, but given that he went on to represent Ghana at the African Cup of Nations, you could say we were *ahem* Kwesi to let him go.

 

  1. Joe Gormley (Cliftonville, 2015)

 

Despite averaging about 7 goals a game in his homeland, Joe Gormley just wasn’t very good. Only made 1 appearance after Dave Robertson’s departure due to a serious knee injury and him being unable to trap a football. The unrealistic expectations poured onto him from above did nothing to help his confidence.

 

Joe ‘The Goal’ Gormley. His name took on an ironic edge once he left Bad Ireland.

 

  1. Danny Mills (Crawley Town, 2009)

 

Why did we sign this man? Apparently he made 3 appearances for us and I remember none of them. Not to be confused with the mediocre Manchester City full back or the 8 time Scottish chess champion (1849-1904), although both would have had a similar impacts on our forward line as this one did.

 

  1. Matt Stevens (Barnet, 2016)

 

Still on the club’s books and has barely got near our first team. Currently on loan at Kettering and will probably stay there.

 

  1. Luke Williams (Middlesbrough (Loan), 2015)

 

Who?

 

  1. Idris Kanu (Aldershot Town, 2017)

 

Imagine a child being controlled by a child on an Xbox. That’s Idris Kanu.

 

  1. Kieran Agard (Everton (Loan), 2011)

 

Half of a double signing to replace Aaron McLean. Played once in central midfield during a hammering at Craven Cottage, only behind…

 

  1. Jonathan Obika (Tottenham Hotspur (Loan), 2011)

 

… On account of him scoring the winner on his second and final game for us. Him and Agard left the club a week after joining when Darren Ferguson returned to London Road.

 

  1. Izale McLeod (Charlton Athletic (Loan), 2010)

 

Oh yeah, he played for us. Even though his alleged 2006 move from Milton Keynes never materialised (it definitely nearly happened, Peterborough United don’t do willy waving), he was part of Mark Cooper’s attempted revolution. His short career in PE2 was curtailed by injury.

 

  1. Ben Wright (Hampton and Richmond, 2009)

 

 Roy Hodgson vetoed Fulham’s move for Wright to allow him to have a better chance of a football league career here. He needn’t have bothered. Liked a sun bed, if memory serves me correctly.

 

Ben Wright – He could kick a football really hard

 

  1. Rueben Reid (West Bromwich Albion (Loan), 2010)

 

Never scored for us. Will probably be remembered for being used as that fruitcake Jim Gannon’s political pawn when he tried to force Craig Mackail-Smith out of the club, substituting the future Scotland international for Reid after just 30 minutes against Ipswich.

 

  1. Rene Howe (Kettering Town, 2007)

 

The first in a succession of ‘different’ strikers to play second fiddle to the Mac Attack. We were the springboard for him to become a lower league journeyman. Still, he’s the joint top scorer of the 15 players we’ve had so far.

 

So, we’ve had 15 players so far who brought 2 goals and only a few more appearances to the table. Things can only get better, surely?

 

James Bloodworth (jwb1997)

James can be found on Twitter as @jamesb17_